Top 10 Reasons for Marrying Young

Our society frowns on marrying young. We want people to be established, be educated, and play the field first.

Personally, I think marrying young can be a very good thing. Tonight, my daughters and I will attend the wedding of a 19-year-old woman named Emma. She’s a sweetie, and she’s so happy, and I’m excited for her.

So I thought I’d write about the pros of marrying young. But first, a few caveats:
I do not believe that everyone should marry young.

In fact, in many cases young marriage doesn’t work. If the couple really is not very mature, they could be making a very bad decision. I get nervous when a 19-year-old chooses to marry who hasn’t really seen the world much or expanded their social circle at all. If all they know is a very small corner of the world, they may not know themselves very well yet.

Finally, many young people marry to escape. They want to feel grown up, and they want to get on with their lives, and marriage seems the easiest course.

In almost all these cases, these young marriages will not be good ones.

I’m also fully aware that many people will not meet anyone suitable to marry until they are a little older. I have a good friend who married for the first time at 42 a few years ago. She would have loved to marry earlier, but her love didn’t show up until she was older. I in no way mean to shame people who have not married young. I know often being single older is not by choice. I have frequently told my daughters that while I firmly believe they will marry, no one knows when that will be, and they need to work at being comfortable on their own and with God instead of thinking their lives are only complete once they are married.

Nevertheless, none of that means that young marriages can’t work, and so here are 10 reasons why I think marrying young should come back into vogue. We’ll start with the benefits to society, and then look at the benefits for the couple themselves:

Why Marrying Young is Good for Society

1. Drifting Through One’s Twenties Can Waste a Key Decade

When people expect that they’ll marry at thirty (the average age for first marriages is now at around 27 for women), then they tend to see their twenties as their time to explore, not their time to settle down. Everything gets delayed. You can spend a few years experimenting with different careers (or lack thereof), or traveling with no purpose, or hopping from relationship to relationship. As I talked about last week, though, your twenties are an important decade financially. If you can start saving then, you really set yourself up well for life.

And the earlier people start saving and maturing, the better off and more productive society is.

2. Having Babies Younger is Better for Society

Physically, the best years to have babies is in your early twenties. Yet few people are married or ready today at that point, largely because we have extended adolescence so far. While most people had babies young fifty years ago, today having one’s first baby after age 30 is the norm in many circles.

Yet while socially we’ve changed, physically we haven’t. And as fertility rates drop, perhaps it would be better for society to prioritize maturing younger rather than prolonging the years when you “find yourself”, especially since those years really are so valuable.

Why Marrying Young Can Be Good For You

3. You “Grow Up” Together

When you marry at 20 or 21, you haven’t always figured out what you want in a house, or how you want to organize a kitchen, or how you want to pay your bills. You don’t know what you want in a church or where you want to live. But you can grow up and make those decisions together, and it’s kinda fun!

When Keith and I married at 21 we had no idea about how we wanted to spend vacations or what kind of house we wanted, let alone how we wanted to do housework. We just figured it out ourselves. And because we hadn’t had our own routines for so many of these things, it wasn’t hard to merge.

Who said a young marriage can't be a happy one?

4. It’s Easier to Merge Two Homes when There’s Not Much To Them

Imagine you’ve been doing your finances on Quicken on the computer for ten years, and then you marry someone who keeps all receipts in shoe boxes. That’s tough to find a new way of doing it, when you’re both so set in your ways.

Imagine you’ve had ten years since you moved out of your parents place to set your own traditions for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Now you have to do it all over again, when you’re emotionally wedded to the things you’ve already done.

It’s just tricky to merge two households. It’s easier to start off together.

5. You Can Be a Younger Parent

I remember being 27 years old and having one toddler on my back and one baby on my front and getting on the Toronto subway for 45 minutes, with 2 transfers, to get to the zoo, where I spent 6 hours with the kids, only to reverse the whole process.

There is no way I would have had the same energy to do that if I were 37 instead.

And here’s the thing: so many people say, “I want to travel before I settle down! I want to see the world!” But my youngest will be leaving home next year when I’m just 45. (I’m still tearing up at that a little, by the way). Keith and I are going to do some major traveling! We’re going to buy an RV and start seeing the world, little bits at a time. We’re heading to Australia for a conference. It’ll be wonderful (and hopefully take my mind off of my kids being gone). We’re still young, we’re still energetic, but best of all, we have some money now. We didn’t have any in our twenties. We can travel way more now than we could have then.

6. You Can Be a Younger Grandparent

I think a lot of people forget this one: my mom became a grandma at 51. She was so energetic with my girls. She’s 71 now, and she’s still active, but the girls have such strong memories of her being much younger. They remember when she was still a career woman. They remember her doing really fun trips with them. They will always have very clear memories of her.

On the other hand, my grandparents were 62 when I was born. While I have great memories of one of my grandparents, my maternal grandfather had a massive stroke at 64. He was a really strong, active man, yet I only remember him in a wheelchair with impaired judgment. My maternal grandmother, apparently, was just like me. She was opinionated, extroverted, and great at public speaking. Yet most of my memories of her are post-dementia.

My mom has many friends her age who are just becoming grandparents now. I actually hope my girls have kids young, because I’m looking forward to piling grandchildren in our RV and taking them around North America.

7. You Resist Temptation

If you’re with a guy you totally love when you’re 21, and your parents say, “you have to wait until you’re 25 and that graduate degree is finished before you marry”, how in the world are you supposed to resist the temptation to have sex? Sure it’s possible, but it’s awfully hard.

When you love someone and feel close, you’re going to want to make love. It’s natural. Physiologically for men especially, the sex drive is highest from 18-25. It’s really, really hard to wait, and when I hear Christian parents saying, “I hope my son doesn’t marry until he’s done med school and residency when he’s 27″, I wonder what they’re thinking, frankly. Walking down the aisle to meet the only one you will ever make love to is such a beautiful thing and a gift. But if we start telling hormonally charged teens that they have to wait 15 years post-puberty to get married–fewer will wait for marriage for sex.

8. You Avoid a Lot of Heartache

If people married young, perhaps we’d have fewer “exes” and fewer regrets. So much of the problem in marriages is caused by past baggage. If we put the expectation on kids that “it’s fine to get married at 21″ rather than “you had better not get married until you finish your degree and you have a good job”, then people would treat relationships at 20 more seriously. They wouldn’t think, “this can’t go anywhere, so let’s just have fun!” Often that “fun” ends up causing a lot of tears.

9. You Can Focus Your Goals Earlier

Once you’re married, you can start making real plans. Where do we want to be in 5 years? In 10 years? When do we want to buy a house? What education do we need? Where do we want to live? Certainly you can do those things when you’re single, but it’s often tricky since you don’t know where life is going to take you. Once you’re married, you can nail these things down. And if you do marry at 22, then you will start thinking about buying a house. If you don’t marry until 28, you’re often not worried about buying a home at all, and so you rent for years.

Case for Marriage Researchers have found that marriage boosts one’s income and one’s net worth, all on its own, even controlling for class, race, and education. Being married makes people hunker down and treat life more seriously. And that’s good, because it means that ultimately you’ll be financially better off.

10. You Have Decades and Decades Together

I am so looking forward to growing old with my husband, but I am also looking forward to years and years of having fun together before we do get old. He is my best friend. He is my lover. He is my favourite person in the world. I am so blessed to be able to be with him, and I am so blessed that we do have all these years together. Why would you not want as many years as you could with the man that you choose?

Again, I know that not everyone will meet their marriage partner young, and that’s okay. There’s nothing inherently wrong with marrying later.
My problem is that we’ve started to see marrying young as inherently wrong, and I think young marriage actually has a lot of benefits–probably even more than later marriages.

My dream would be a society that focused on helping teens mature faster so that they would be ready to marry younger again. I personally think that would be a healthier society overall.

So I’d encourage all of us who are parents to stop hoping our children marry later, and start preparing them to launch into life younger. It’s okay to marry in college. It’s okay to marry in your early twenties–as long as you’re sure of your faith, you’re sure of yourself, and you’re sure of your relationship.

Culled from Sheila on To, Love Honor And Vacuum

What do you think? We’d love to hear! Please share your thoughts and contributions

We have over 3,400 awesome people following this blog, Its possible to know the exact moment a post is put up on this blog, all you have to do is follow this blog by mail. It’s what awesome people do. You’ll get an alert each time, so you’ll never miss a thing.

If no one shared this article with you, you won’t be reading it. Don’t stop the chain, share this article on your favorite network :)

Do you want to do more for this blog than be a reader? Let’s discuss.

Reach me on:
BBM: 7BDC014D
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo
Mail- victoryodunjo@gmail.com
12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

Image Source: joelasky

And That’s How A Man Smacked My Buttocks In Public

This true story is one which happened on a random night. I had decided to go on a stroll with my cousin to a suya (barbecue) spot somewhere in my area. Since it was evening, I didn’t deem it fit to change my outfit, and simply decided to wear what I had on all day. The suya joint was only a few streets away and had no reason to believe anything could go wrong, or so I thought. The attire I had on all day was on a black top with pink polka dots, which revealed my “fresh” arms. I also wore pink reebok pants that were fitting, thereby placing an emphasis on my shape. I remember this experience vividly because it was a shocking reality I had to deal with.

So out we went on our jolly suya stroll, we had to connect to another street to get the suya spot. The path we were going through was a very busy road, and there were a lot of activities occurring there. Cars and bikes were in abundance, so trust me when I say it was a very busy environment. Evenings are typically when Nigerians appreciate suya as it is a time they get to relax from a long day of work or school, as it applies. Even suya sellers hardly open during the day, but specialize in evening sale.

On getting to the spot with my cousin, who was a guy, he began selecting what pieces he wanted to buy and was bargaining with the malam (seller). I on the other hand, was just trying to enjoy the opportunity and atmosphere because getting suya wasn’t an everyday thing. As the bargaining went on, I suddenly heard a loud sound, and I felt the effect through my skin as well as got a shiver through my whole body. To say I was amazed would be an understatement; I was in a state of total shock. A random guy had given me a smack on my behind, my very own personal buttocks. Without my permission! (It’s not as if I would have allowed him if he even asked).

I didn’t even get the opportunity to shout, because everything happened so quickly. By the time I turned around to see who smacked my butt, I discovered he was on a moving motorcycle, and was already many metres ahead. I was the only one who knew what happened; no one in the busy environment saw anything. Not even my cousin or the malam selling us suya. I was so confused on what I should have done that very moment, whether I should have run after him or shouted or cried. I was clueless and never said a word about it to anybody.

At that point in time, I couldn’t decipher the cause of this random behavior from this guy. But then, I would say I have come to learn that whatever I wore or wear could arouse someone negatively, especially men. I didn’t know/understand that dressing in a particular way could attract some men sexually; I was simply following the trend of dressing I had seen. I’m not trying to justify the man who smacked my butt and went into the night probably with a grin on his face. But that day has changed my perspective, and my dress sense too.

I have learnt that sometimes it’s not about looking fab or looking fly. Nor is it about being “on point” like many celebrities claim to be. For us as Christian women, our first assignment is to dress to the glory of God. Say we don’t even think that far, it is our duty to dress to respect ourselves and the body God gave us.

Many times we claim to dress for comfort, and ignore/neglect the discomfort of others, especially the men who see us. As a lady myself, I know that at other times, in the depth of our hearts, we dress simply for the attention and affection we get from men. If we were dressing only to be seen in the comfort of our homes, I honestly would not be bothered by what you wear. But the moment we step out, we step into the prying eyes of the world. A world without restrictions, where people don’t know who you are or why you do the things you do. A place where people react firstly based on what they see, and how they process what they see. Men especially are very visual, and anything you wear determines the way their body reacts to you. Based on my little story, I’ll like to encourage all ladies to dress not only for their “comfort”, but the respect of their bodies, and help men not take us as sexual objects or toys. The flesh is very powerful, and everyone has their struggle, don’t lead others to sin. Concentrate more on your character, and discovering who you are in God, then your uniqueness would come out to all, and God would be glorified. Men should also be decent and composed, and not always be moved by what they see, there is more than what meets the eye. Women are treasures that should be treasured, the Bible says her price is far above rubies, so treat them as such.

I want women to show their beauty by dressing in appropriate clothes that are modest and respectable. Their beauty will be shown by what they do, not by their hair styles or the gold jewelry, pearls, or expensive clothes they wear.  This is what is proper for women who claim to have reverence for God. – 1 Timothy 2:9-10

By Abiola B

This is a true story shared with me by Abiola. It wasn’t such a pleasant experience for her, but she felt many ladies could learn from it, the men as well. I also have a lot to say about the way ladies dress today, there is hardly a difference between the godly and ungodly. I’ll share many of my thoughts in another post. Your views and thoughts matter

I’ll appreciate your comment on this article. This is a major issue that should be discussed. Thanks for reading

We have over 3,400 awesome people following this blog, Its possible to know the exact moment a post is put up on this blog, all you have to do is follow this blog by mail. It’s what awesome people do. You’ll get an alert each time, so you’ll never miss a thing.

If no one shared this article with you, you won’t be reading it. Help others learn like you just did, share this article on your favorite network :)

Do you want to do more for this blog than be a reader? Let’s discuss.

Reach me on:
BBM: 7BDC014D
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo
Mail- victoryodunjo@gmail.com
12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

Image Source: http://www.thisisyourconscience.com

He Helped The Stranded Old Lady By The Road Side

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. I t was that chill which only fear can put in you.
He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.”

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.

Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, “And think of me.”

The old lady couldn't believe it

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan .

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me an anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.”

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard….She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.”

Someone sent this article to me and I was really blessed by it. It brought tears to my eyes.

Are there any lessons you learnt from this post? Ensure you drop your comment, and share this post with others. Thanks for reading.

Its possible to know the exact moment a post is put up on this blog, all you have to do is follow this blog by mail. You’ll get an alert each time, so you can stay updated. Cheers.

Do you want to do more for this blog than be a reader? Let’s discuss.

Reach me on:
BBM: 7BDC014D
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo
Mail- victoryodunjo@gmail.com
12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

Image Source: http://www.blurbrain.com

Won’t Let Go

All he ever wanted was to hold something tight. In his fingers, he wanted the memories to linger. Yet, any time he held on to something, he tried to never let go. Oh, there it goes again. He lost it. It was strange how these things never stayed.

He certainly knew he was capable of holding on. He decided to train his fingers, so that he would never lose things. Then stronger his hands became, he was ready to try again, it just had to stay. And he did try, he held on tighter than ever, until he felt the ice cube melt off his hands.

I’m participating in the Writing 201 poetry course. The prompt was to write a prose poem, using fingers as a theme, and assonance. So this is my sixth contribution. I’ll appreciate, your views, criticisms and comments. How can you relate to this? Thanks

You can check my other poems: Tears , The Journey , Your Lies , Our Love Story , I Choose You

Reach me on:
BBM: 7BDC014D
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo
Mail- victoryodunjo@gmail.com                         
12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

I Was Almost A Hero

I saw her walk in
She was doing her best
To make it to the counter
But her strength was failing

With the next step, she tripped and fell
As she hit the ground
The whole place shook
How she felt, no one could tell

No one moved, they only watched
No one moved, as she tried to get up
I noticed a young man
That was visibly touched

He ran up to help her
And lifted her to her feet
He planted a soft kiss on her forehead
And helped with the order

I felt the tears stream down my face
I felt a fight within me
Because I knew I could have helped.
I will be a hero, another time another place

I’m participating in the Writing 201 poetry course. The prompt was to write an ballad, using hero as a theme, and anaphora. So this is my sixth contribution. I’ll appreciate, your views, criticisms and comments. How can you relate to this? Thanks

You can check my other poems: Tears , The Journey , Your Lies , Our Love Story , I Choose You

Reach me on:
BBM: 7BDC014D
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo
Mail- victoryodunjo@gmail.com                         
12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

Have A Good Laugh 4

Today, you won’t be laughing at any thing else but your funny pronunciation of these words. I expect you know about tongue twisters, it’s simple. If you try reading these words in your mind, you’ll be correct all the time. So it’s important you read these sentences out loud and see how well you do. Try to say them as fast as you can, and like three times in a row. I have always loved tongue twisters. Let’s know the ones you pronounced easily, and the ones that kept your tongue twisted :) Have fun.

1) I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.

2) There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves
go through.

3) Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards

4) How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

5) How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.

6) Green glass globes glow greenly.

7) How many berries could a bare berry carry, if a bare berry could carry berries? Well they can’t carry berries (which could make you very wary) but a bare berry carried is more scary!

8) Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.

9) On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.

10) I’ll chew and chew until my jaws drop.

11) If you’re keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.

12) If you can’t can any candy can, how many candy cans can a candy canner can if he can can candy cans?

Culled from First International Collection of Tongue Twisters

Don’t forget to drop a comment and share too :) Check out other funny posts like Have A Good Laugh , Have A Good Laugh 2 , Have A Good Laugh 3 . Great jokes there too. We all need a little fun and laughter in our lives. The Bible says “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).

Its possible to know the exact moment a post is put up on this blog, all you have to do is follow this blog by mail. You’ll get an alert each time, so you can stay updated. Cheers

The Must Read Post for The Week is  -> At the End 

Do you want to be more than a reader on this blog? Let’s discuss

Reach me on:
BBM: 7BDC014D
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo
Mail- victoryodunjo@gmail.com
12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

Image Source: Google Images

How Do You Let Someone Know Their Mouth Is Smelling?

Hehe.. Now that you are here, I need your help. Other people do too. Let me share a quick true experience before I get your answer.

Sometime ago, I was in a group meeting with a couple of colleagues, we were having a kind of discussion that required arguments. It went on well until someone I believed was a friend, got really inspired and started giving a motivational talk. We were all eager to hear what she had to say until our noses made us hear otherwise. We began to ‘hear’ a kind of smell. The smell was just as inspirational and motivational as the words she was trying to say. It inspired us to want to run away People couldn’t blink, they couldn’t even breathe, there was a sudden silence in the already noisy group. It was like an angel passed by.

My friend must have thought she was an awesome public speaker with the silence accorded to her. So I just waited for her to finish her statement. As she did, everyone took a break. We all needed the fresh air. The smell that was emitted must have ranked higher than a fart. So as a good friend, I decided to call this my public speaking friend to a corner and I gently told her her mouth wasn’t smelling right, that she should find a quick way to deal with it and come back with a proper breath. I said this words as cautiously as I could and even apologized before starting the statement.

That’s how my friend began to shout at me, baptizing me with many drops of the smell causing saliva. Telling me that I was rude, and a liar, that she brushed that morning and there was no way her mouth could be smelling. She thought I was trying to embarrass her, I apologized as she walked off. She never spoke to me for a long while. Whether she later discovered I was right or not, I have no idea. But I have wondered since then if there is a good way to tell someone their mouth is smelling, or one should just watch them share the love, and move in with it?

What do you think? Why do you think my friend acted in such a manner? Are there better ways to show people their flaws that disgrace them in public? Have you ever had an experience like this or something similar? How did u deal with it. This may be very funny, but its rarely discussed. So say something, your views are important.

Please drop your comment, and share this post with others. Thanks for reading.

Its possible to know the exact moment a post is put up on this blog, all you have to do is follow this blog by mail. You’ll get an alert each time, so you can stay updated. Cheers.

Do you want to do more for this blog than be a reader? Let’s discuss.

Reach me on:
BBM: 7BDC014D
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo
Mail- victoryodunjo@gmail.com
12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

Image Source: Google Images