I hear it all too often,
Left, right and center,
The boldness, and confidence,
The ego and pride
The ego and pride
By which they walk by often,
After all they our men.
They seem to know who they are,
They seem to know what they want,
They hover and rover,
All to the ends of the earth
Searching… or rather picking
Picking women they claim or believe are theirs
They use their words,
They use the actions they claim are their deeds,
And walk in pride and confidence.
“Pride and confidence of what?” I ask,
They quote to me “He who finds a wife finds a good thing…”
I have heard it,
Over and over,
My ears are ringing,
Ringing with the insanity and use of those words.
You men scream,
And rejoice in having found a wife….
But I wonder…
I know it’s in the Word, so I’ll take you back to it…
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself ” Ephesians 5:22-30
You claim you know,
You claim you are blessed when you have a woman
But dear men,
Do you know your duties and what it takes to be a man with a wife?
Look up, and look at what the Word is saying…
It says, love your wife like Christ loved the church…
It didn’t stop there,
It continues and shows what Christ did,
It shows that Christ knew who He was,
And what He was to do…
He, like you men are to be,
Are to give yourselves up to your wives,
To sanctify and cleanse her, by washing with the WORD.
That you are to give yourself as the head, like Christ was.
Not only as the head to order women around and get what you want,
But to use the WORD to make women better,
It means you are to sanctify and cleanse us,
Not with your hands around our bodies or waists, but with the WORD
It means you are to groom us, and grow us
Like Jesus did with the church.
Hold up a minute, I am not done yet,
I know you can say that’s easy, and its what you know and can do,
But let me draw you back just a bit,
Do you know?
Do you know,
That before Jesus went forth to begin His duties and become head of the church,
He stayed away from doing it for over 20 years.
Yes He knew who He was,
Yes He knew He was the Messiah,
Yes He showed at age 12 that He could teach,
But He waited,
He waited till he was 30
So he could grow, mature and be ripe for the occasion and mission,
And until the point He knew He was ready to begin His duties,
He exercised no authority and lived in humility.
Did you also notice?
When He began His duties,
Not once did he need the church to reassure him, who he was,
He did not need the church to tell him his duties, or perform his duties for Him,
He kept growing, praying and learning from the Father,
Before coming forth and teaching the church,
He knew what His calling was,
And even when He had began walking in His ministry,
At points He knew He was not ready, He acknowledged it and waited.
John 7: 6a “Jesus therefore saith unto them, My time is not yet come…”
He has shown by example,
And has thus taught that even when you feel you need to make a decision,
And the time is not ripe,
Acknowledging and being patient is not such a bad idea.
So please, dear men,
Before you leap and go chasing another lady,
You probably might want to understand a few things,
You probably might want to analyze yourself and stand in humility,
You probably might want to ask yourself a few questions,
You probably might want to ask,
Are you ready to perform the duties of a husband like Jesus did?
Have you gone through the years of required growth,
Soaking yourself in the WORD (not in “movies”, or documentaries or other things I choose not to mention) which you would need to groom your wife?
Have you gotten the go ahead from God to begin the job?
“And John bare witness, saying, I have beheld the Spirit descending as a dove out of heaven; and it abode upon him” John 1:32 (That was when Jesus officially began to walk actively in his calling)
There are many more questions, but you are the men, so please go and ask God…
And in case you are wondering why you should be compared with Jesus,
The Word clearly shows that Jesus is the bridegroom, and the church is the bride,
The same way a husband is the groom and the woman, his bride.
So dear men,
Please go back into the Word and get your job description right.
Please be prepared before you leap and tell a woman to submit to you.
Likewise dear men, while I agree with you that “ He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”, I also know you have a duty to perform before obtaining the said favor. After all the same word said: … For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more. Luke 12:28
Note: This is just one of those things which weigh women down, and you should know, but it appears many still don’t know. The Bible says “God corrects those He loves” So please take this as that correction, and not a means to start a debate of any sorts. I hope this was helpful, and will help build our men up and let them do things right. Remain blessed.
This post was written by Toni Ayonrinde. Check out her blog at