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I received a message from one of the Victory Path members a few days ago.. Please give your thoughts and contributions.

Hey Victory,

My name is A.B and I have a question I’ll love people to give an answer to on the Victory Path.

Is it possible for two people of the opposite sex to be best friends without have feelings for each other or falling in love with each other?”

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Please drop a comment, it takes a few seconds. If you are shy, you can probably using your initials (e.g T.A) or Anonymous.. Don’t read this post without commenting. You’ll surely be helping someone out.  Thanks

E-mail: victoryodunjo@gmail.com
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Twitter: @victoryodunjo

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34 thoughts on “Can Best Friends Not Have Feelings For Each Other?

  1. For me I don’t think it is possible for best friends of the opposite sex not to have feelings for each other…except they are not physically attracted to each other which is also very hard…because a guy can’t just become the best friend of a girl that see does not find attractive…so I feel they might not fall in love but the have feelings for each other definitely.

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  2. Well… It’s possible but difficult, I have seen a few cases where they both married different people and they are still very good friends

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  3. The word best frd!hmmmmm, When u cal sum 1 ur bestie it means u share so many things togeda,as in no holds barred. U do so many things togeda thereby spendin tym togeda, which is wat ladies need, i can continue on n on.To me i dnt think there’s a way u wil nt v soft touch 4 each oda,there wont b a day u wldnt v tot that, i wish i had met him/her earlier n questns lyk dt . I dnt knw sha,m a witness. Lemme disagree with tunrayo on that 1, that can only work if each of both partners aint over possesed but there is no way either ล‘f the spouse wont be furious. Though some besties can only b goรณd 2geda just been friends,if such end up in marriage i bet it wont work out as it would v done if they wia jus friends. The question is what shld b dรณne??? I so love this piece.

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    • Haha.. I love the direct use of words Pearl ๐Ÿ˜‰ Affection grows with attention and time spent.. You have a point, ones thoughts could wonder to why they can’t be in a relationship.. Plus people not that possessive are very few.. What should be done?? Hmmn “Don’t make a mistake of not marrying your best friend” Lol.. I love this piece as much as you do.. I appreciate the comment Pearl

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  4. Hey dude!
    I donโ€™t think thereโ€™s any big deal in that. Two best friends having feelings for each other or having a nice relationship together shouldnโ€™t be a problem.
    I can definity do it and thatโ€™s my own take on it. Knowing a lady as my friend for some years and I get to know her to have almost all the qualities I want in a woman as my wife, why looking else where when I can have her and ccomplete the man in me. Two wrongs cannot make a right so is two rights cannot be wrong.
    Guy, go for her and donโ€™t be stupid, so many guys are out there praying to have someone like her, so why not you.
    Good thhing is for everybody.
    Peace Out!!!

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    • Hmmn.. That makes a lot of sense Nurudeen! If one sees the qualities one needs in the best friend, no need to keep searching, one should settle with the best friend straight ๐Ÿ™‚

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  5. I feel it is not possible 2b bestfriends and u won’t feel something for each other most esp wen both of u re nt seeing any1. Haba! Wen d guy calls, texts,comes ard 2chk-up on u, go on a date 2geda, etc..their is no way u guyz won’t have feelings for each other. I wl also love u guys to answer this question..is it good to say yes to dat kind of proposal as a lady? I discussed this wt a frd last week and we were unable 2reach a conclusion..saying this bcz it has happened 2me several times and my answers were NO..and d whole tin ended up in a quarrel. Dat same thing is abt 2happen again..and i dnt really knw wat 2do..and am thkin of nt having any male frd again o.

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    • Hmmn Esther, now this post makes me understand how general this issue is to many of us.. I guess we should all answer the question “Why is this person my best friend? What keeps me in this friendship?” And you could also ask your best friend too.. The answer you give to that question is what matters, for some it would reveal the love inside of them, for others, it could just be a reason that they stuck with all through.. What should be done with the proposal is entirely personal, it is great to note that either ways, whoever one must end up with must or would become ones best friend ๐Ÿ™‚ You may be moved to not having a male best friend again if its for the best.. There is no law binding you from that Esther ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thanks for you sincerity

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      • @esther permit me to say u v nt really met ur bestfriend guess all d previous r jus friends nt best. Like i said earlier d word bestfriend… Ur bestfriend is sum1 u go outta ur way to please. Y wil i say no wen v gat feelings 4 him n m avail, he cnt actually b my bestfrnd if he aint gat all d characters i lv in a man anyway,so pls search ur @ n go 4 it my dear.

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  6. Well, I really dunno but I feel its not possible because no matter how hard you try, feelings are bound to develop; Even if its just you who is secretly crushing on your guy bestfriend.

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  7. I dont think its possible because you two spend alot of time together, tell eachother most things if not everything…you connect with eachother like no other…lol ok I’m getting carried away (I’m a romantic at heart). Now its left to both of you IF you want to act on the feelings. As dreamy as it sounds the transition from being bestfriends to dating isnt always so. So if u are a little less cowardly than I am you can give it a shot and I pray it works out for you. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • At least its easier accepting the feelings, and then making a choice to act on them or just keep moving on till one finds that one.. Rather than denying that the feelings don’t even exist at all.. Thanks Oyinkansola ๐Ÿ™‚

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  8. This answers to this question will definitely stem from personal experiences and not generalizations, so for me I will say it is very, very possible because well, I have experienced it.

    That you started out as very best of friends doesn’t necessarily mean you cannot/should not cross over to the romantic realm, but for the time prior to that transition you were/can be very best of friends. Well in my own case, no romantic feelings ever developed! I think that it’s even better that way. That’s just friendship in it’s purest form! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    So then you may be asking and wondering why then are you asked to marry your best friend and all that. Well, ever noticed that the ‘best friend’ thing sets in after you are already romantically involved. It’s equally exhilarating too!

    So different strokes, different folks!!! #Peace ๐Ÿ˜€

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  9. It is totally impossible for two people of the opposite sex to call themselves best friends and not fall in love with each other.
    Who is a best friend?
    A best friend is someone that you do not hold anything back from. You feel very comfortable around such person because you know that the person genuinely has your interest at heart. When you feel down, you will always love to talk to such person.
    You constantly find yourself unconsciously worrying unnecessarily about his or her welfare.
    There is absolutely no way that you are not bound t fall in love with such a person.
    The problem is most people never really know the true meaning of best friends and ignorantly think that they have best friends.
    For example, why is it that some people love their parents or siblings unconditionally? Don’t say it’s because they gave birth to them. It is because they have been there for them at different points in their lives and they feel very comfortable divulging any secrets with them. They feel totally at ease when they are around them.
    Now transferinf such amount of closeness to someone else of the opposite sex who is not your family member, there is absolutely no way you will not fall in love.

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  10. Well….the human emotion is a pretty complicated thing. I bliv its possible but its usually one party that does the ‘having feelings’ thing most of the time….I’ve seen cases where the girl develops feelings for the guy and the guy is as clueless as a dog on a steering wheel! And this happens to girls most times cos guys hav to add physical attraction (even if its minute) to the mix while girls cn fall in love wit personality alone! As far as human beings are concerned, its possible….just like the love u hav for brothers and sisters, u cn hav that love with friends of the opposite sex afterall, there are friends that stick closer than brothers (wink)

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    • ๐Ÿ™‚ Taiwo just broke it down a little more.. Lol @ “clueless as a dog on a steering wheel” I agree that ladies are more bound to develop feelings more easily than guys would.. Yeah, if there are friends like brothers, life would be great

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  11. I believe this quote would answer the question quite well: “A guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe, just maybe …forever.”

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  12. Most often,best friends of the opposite sex have feelings for each other and as time goes on,it progresses into falling in love with each other.For me i think thats the best process for starting a relationship.
    From the beginning,they love each other and gradually,they fall in love.

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  13. True friends are indirectly true lovers! Within them, they might not experience any romantic relationship. Thus, if lovers love themselves and are ready to do anything for each, which is same with best friends. Then, they must develope love between them. …Cj

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  14. A lot has already been said….

    I’d lend my own voice because 75% of my best friends are guys. I’m a very deep person and sometimes I don’t want the drama of lady friends.

    Recently, one of my besties (I have a circle) admitted how much he had admired me. He said he didn’t actually pay attention to it until he put himself through some tests and the results confirmed it.

    The tingly part was that it was mutual. What did we do? We just talked about it. Really open. Just like we would talk about any other thing. He is in a relationship and I’m not ready for one. His ideologies about some things would conflict with some of mine. We would betray the trust his present girlfriend has in our friendship. In short, after the honeymoon stage, we would self destruct.

    That was the freedom! We became best of friends even more after we had that long, difficult talk.

    There’s a problem if you are not attracted to your best friend of the opposite sex. There’s also a problem if for every feeling you have it turns into a relationship. That is so not how it is meant to be.

    Just like anger, envy, happiness, crush can be controlled. It SHOULD be controlled. The day you let your emotions rule you is the day you lose close and very important relationships.

    There are times when in it is not mutual. Let it be controlled as well.

    However, please if it is mutual and there are no obvious signs that this is wrong and you have peace in your heart, the Holy Spirit doesn’t preach “zoning”, that term is a confusion tactic from the world. Go for it!

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  15. Its impossible not to feel something. i was a victim… we became so close,inseparable to the extent that we did not even care about how it affected our individual relationships.The bond was so strong that we got so intimate and trust me it was the best i ever had. Being with him was fun, Making out with him was heavenly and even till date i still think about him even though we are not as close as we used to anymore and sex with him has been my best ever. We drifted when jealousy started coming in, we quarreled and somehow it just dawned on us that we cant be together eventhough we knew right from day one. He was the nicest guy I ever knew, he always had my back, he thought me a lot of things academically, biblically and otherwise and he will always be a special someone….and YES i miss him much

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  16. Hhhmmm. Make I talk small…
    The only reason some people feel they don’t have feelings for deir bestie who is of d opposite sex z cuz dey are not conscious if it….YET!!! The day u become conscious…. itaff finish!!!
    Bye!!!

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